Sergio Rossi for the Tuesday Tuesday, 15 May 2012 SHOEBLOGS (Sergio Rossi) -- Manolo says, it is Tuesday, and sometime within the next few weeks, your children will be released from the school for the summer, and then, the fun will begin, yes?
In the meantime, why not assuage that free-floating anxiety about expensive summer camps and home-alone children by looking at the crazy colorful shoes from Sergio Rossi?
On the one of the hands, artificial uppers.
On the other of the hands, super fantastic colorful plastic!
Tish Cyrus has gas station beef jerky nipples... Tuesday, 15 May 2012 CELEBRITYRANT --
Tish Cyrus has some wonky boobs, huh? Looks like one of them is ready for a little nap. I see Tish avoids bras about as much as her lovely daughter, Miley Cyrus. I wonder how much those distressed jeans cost? Or maybe she found them at the bottom Billy Ray's 1980's wardrobe closet while she was looking for his career. This is a woman who is not easy on the eyes and kind of reminds me of a piece of beef jerky, but not the good kind. You know the beef jerky you find in a dusty package on the gas station shelf and you buy it because you're drunk and hungry? You take it home and try to eat it but it's tough and stringy, so you drop it behind the sofa. A month later you sweep behind there and discover that dusty, dirty, hairy piece of jerky, you reach down to throw it out and your dog snatches it, after a while even he can't digest that crap so you kick it back under the sofa. That is what Tish Cyrus reminds me of.
 Lindsay Lohan channels Looney Tunes... Tuesday, 15 May 2012 CELEBRITYRANT --
Lindsay Lohan is looking so gorgeous these days, right? I just love the dime store bobby pin she has stuck in her hair. We all know she really uses it to dig the coke boogers out of her nose. She reminds me of Witch Hazel from Looney Tunes. Every time she would chase after Bugs Bunny a bunch of bobby pins would fly out of her hair. I'll bet Samantha Ronson has a huge collection of those very same pins.
 Bree Olson likes tools... Tuesday, 15 May 2012 CELEBRITYRANT --
It looks like Bree Olson, former Charlie Sheen "Goddess" needed a little extra help while doing a practically naked photo shoot. They literally had to clamp that ass of hers and I can see why. So, not only does Bree use tools in her wardrobe she also dates them.
 Jessica Simpson is in the stuffed sausage business now... Tuesday, 15 May 2012 CELEBRITYRANT --
Jessica Simpson is going to come out with a maternity line. Of course she is. Jessica has made a butt-load of cash of doing lots of things and has made quite the financial comeback since blowing her last bit of money on her doomed wedding to Nick Lachey. So, now Jess is going to show us all how to dress while we are trying to conceal a 30 pound turkey strapped to our stomachs. I followed Jessica rather closely throughout her pregnancy because it was simply fascinating. The duration and how huge she got. Not once did I see a photo of Jessica in a great looking outfit that flattered her baby bump. In fact, Jessica was a train wreck of fashion throughout the entire thing, beginning with the Mummy costume on Halloween that she announced the pregnancy in. For example, this photo looks like Jessica has morphed into a burnt sausage that swallowed a tater tot. Maybe that's why she is going to do a maternity line, she wants to look better next time? Nah... she is doing it so she can rake in the money, honey.
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